Rower LLC is proud to focus on crafting excellent, thoughtful prenuptial agreements in a process that is collaborative, cooperative, and compassionate.

At Rower, the prenuptial agreement (“prenup”) practice is a significant focus of our overall practice; in fact, some of our attorneys work solely on prenups and postnuptial agreements, taking painstaking care to engineer smart agreements that bolster the couple’s relationship.

Given the depth of our experience with prenups, we work with clients in a variety of situations with varying needs. We represent people with complex business interests or complex trusts of which they are a beneficiary, as well as the future spouses of those individuals. We also represent clients with more modest means who want to make sure they are smart and organized about how they approach financial matters in their marriage. Sometimes, we work with families before their children are even engaged, advising them on how to broach the subject of a prenup with a future partner and how to thoughtfully consider protection of family wealth. We work both in New York and elsewhere in conjunction with local counsel. Representing both sides in prenup negotiations, we are skilled at anticipating what will likely be of concern to the other party. Due to the breadth of our work, we are able to guide clients as to what they should be thinking about throughout the process. 

With every client, we take a lot of time to think about the issues at hand from a legal, financial, and psychological perspective. Comprehensive in our approach, we anticipate pitfalls that might come about so that our clients feel well-prepared and well-represented. By anticipating the needs of both parties and proactively addressing any concerns, we facilitate a smooth and humane process for all involved.

 
 
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Our Process

 
 

We view the prenup negotiation as a collaboration.

We recognize, and are sensitive to the fact, that the couple is in love and starting their lives together, and we want the couple’s relationship (along with the relationships of their families of origin) to be strengthened and not weakened through this process. Guided by this philosophy, we work to make the process collaborative and cooperative. 

  • Congrats! You’re on your way to getting married!

  • After the initial excitement of the engagement, we suggest the couple discuss the need for a prenup as early as possible. While there is no timing requirement in New York, the more time a couple has for the process and negotiation, the better. It can be very stressful to work on the prenup too close in time to the wedding date. We often advise our clients on how best to bring up the topic with their partner if they are uncertain with how to initiate the discussion.  

  • It is important for both sides to have independent and separate representation in the prenuptial agreement process. Whenever possible, we provide referrals for opposing counsel, all of whom are attorneys we have worked with and know to be collaborative and committed to reaching an amicable outcome. Providing referrals is a common practice in New York, and it does not affect the enforceability of the agreement. It is also common practice for the party who wants or needs the prenup to pay for the other side’s attorney, which also does not affect the enforceability of the agreement and decreases the likelihood for resentment.  

  • Once both parties have retained attorneys, they meet one-on-one with their respective attorneys to discuss an overview of the law, what can and cannot be done in a prenup, and what each side’s concerns in the agreement will be. 

  • For both parties to have a full understanding of the issues at play, it is important for each side to have comprehensive financial disclosure of the other party’s assets, liabilities, income, and interests in irrevocable trusts. We typically disclose assets that are in the client’s own name; additionally, we disclose if the client is the beneficiary of an irrevocable trust and knows the terms and assets of that trust. We do not need to disclose prospective inheritances or what is held in a revocable trust created by a third party.  

  • After both parties have provided their financial disclosures, the attorneys will lead the clients in drafting the term sheet. This is typically a two- to five-page document that sets out the specific terms of the couple’s prenuptial agreement. We strive through the term sheet to proactively address both parties’ concerns. Negotiation studies have shown that when both parties are involved in creating the agreement, it is more likely to be accepted.  

  • This part of the process can be tailored to the couple’s unique wants and needs. Negotiations can occur between just the attorneys, can involve the couple in a four-way meeting with the clients and attorneys discussing the issues together, or sometimes the couple prefers to discuss the issues one-on-one.  

  • Upon completing negotiation and finalizing the term sheet, the attorneys will draft the full prenuptial agreement. These agreements are typically 20 to 30 pages long, and they mirror the terms of the term sheet and expand upon the details. While the full agreement might be edited to some degree, the drafting process is oftentimes less arduous because the substantive terms have already been determined by the term sheet.   

  • In New York, prenuptial agreements need to be signed and acknowledged in front of a notary. Typically, the parties and the attorneys meet in person to sign four originals of the agreement all together. Each party and attorney receives one original.  

  • Time to celebrate! Once the agreement is fully executed, we hope the couple can put it in a drawer and not have to worry about it again.  

 
 
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Substantive Issues

 
 

Prenuptial agreements can be as sophisticated or as simple as a couple desires.

For a couple who find the very idea of a prenup ominous, a simple stipulation that the parties waive their rights to the other’s inheritance and other categories of property, with all other issues left open to be determined in a divorce, might be most appropriate. More often, prenups are extremely bespoke and comprehensive so as to ensure protection for each party and a more seamless unwinding upon divorce. 

Below are the primary issues that arise in prenuptial negotiations. 

  • Principally, prenups dictate distribution of property—specifically, how the couple will divide property in the event of divorce or death. To that end, the agreement must define “separate property”—property each party will be entitled to retain exclusively upon divorce—and “marital property”—property that will be divided between spouses upon divorce.

    There are two overarching structures for prenups: “title controls” and “mirror the law.” A strict title controls prenup determines distribution of property based upon title alone—i.e., property must deliberately be placed in joint names to be considered marital, otherwise it is separate property. Title controls is often well-suited to couples with complex financial situations or those entering into second marriages, and can be tailored to include creative customized solutions designed to protect both parties upon divorce, such as a transfer of money from the more monied party to the less monied party.

    A mirror the law prenup means the agreement follows existing state law on distribution of property upon a divorce. New York’s current statute enforces equitable—not necessarily equal—distribution of marital property. In other words, New York law views marriage as an economic partnership. The focus is on when and how the property was earned, rather than how property is titled, and everything earned during the marriage is deemed marital property. For many couples, a mirror the law prenup embodies the economic and life partnership they seek in marriage. As such, they are often preferred in situations where the purpose of the prenup is solely to protect a party’s family wealth, whether in expected inheritances, gifts, or in trust. Specifically, a mirror the law agreement provides an additional layer of protection to existing law by safeguarding against future changes to the law, loopholes, or a move to another state where the definition of separate property is more expansive, while also preserving the couple’s financial partnership.  

    Within each of these structures, there are many variations and hybrids. For example, a couple may have a mirror the law prenup that still allows for the less-monied party to keep certain categories of assets (e.g., retirement) as separate property to allow them to build a nest egg. Or parties with a title controls prenup may treat the primary residence as marital property to be shared upon a divorce, even if it is titled in one party’s sole name.

  • Maintenance, also known as spousal support or alimony, is a monthly payment from one former or separated spouse to the other. Under the law, maintenance is determined based on a statutory calculation that accounts for any disparity in the parties’ annual incomes. The duration of maintenance is proportionate to the duration of the marriage. Maintenance and other forms of spousal support such as housing provisions (discussed below) are the only forms of support covered in a prenup—prenup provisions for any future children, such as child support and custody, would not be upheld in New York.

    Typically, maintenance under a prenup is approached in three ways:

    1) One or both parties agree to partially or entirely waive their right to seek maintenance from the other;

    2) The parties agree that a formula or set monthly amount will govern maintenance; or

    3) The parties agree to leave maintenance open to be determined at the time of a divorce.

    In the latter two scenarios, prenups can also limit the income that will be considered in determining a maintenance award, for example stating that income from separate property, family gifts, and trust distributions (i.e., interest, and dividends) will not be considered in a maintenance determination. Prenups can also set an overall cap on the amount of income that can be considered for purposes of calculating maintenance or a net worth threshold at which a party is deemed ineligible to seek maintenance.

  • Several scenarios may arise when a couple establishes their primary residence together:

    1) The primary residence is a rental property;

    2) The primary residence is one spouse’s separate property—i.e., the home is owned by a trust for one party’s benefit, was inherited by or gifted to the spouse alone, or purchased in a party’s sole name solely with separate property; or

    3) The primary residence is marital property—i.e., it is jointly titled and/or purchased, at least in part, with marital property.

    Prenups can expansively or restrictively define a residence as “marital” depending on the circumstances. Parties might decide that any residence purchased during the marriage should be marital property, regardless of title or funds used for the purchase. Conversely, they might decide that a residence must be purchased in joint names or with joint property for it to be considered marital. Agreements can also provide the buyout and sale procedure for marital residences upon divorce, including provisions for rights of first refusal, valuation, listing, and occupancy pending sale.

  • Under New York law, all business interests formed or acquired by a spouse during the marriage are considered marital property. In addition, the appreciation on a separate property business interest is also likely considered marital property under the default law. That said, illiquid marital business interests are unique from other forms of marital property: they are rarely divided equally regardless of the length of the marriage. Rather, the non-titled spouse typically receives between 10-40% of the titled spouse’s illiquid business interest, in the form of a cash payment from the business owner to the non-titled spouse or in a greater share of other marital assets.

    As with other substantive issues, business interests may be governed by either a mirror the law or title controls structure, or a hybrid of the two (e.g., parties might define certain kinds of business interests as separate property and others as marital). Additionally, prenups can be written with clear mandates as to how marital business interests will be valued and distributed between the parties upon divorce.

  • In New York, a widow or widower has various default rights upon the death of their spouse. The two most important of these are:

    1) The right of election, which allows the surviving spouse to elect against their deceased spouse’s will if he or she received less than one third of the deceased spouse’s estate (which generally includes the deceased’s share of marital property as well as separate property in the deceased’s name); and

    2) The right of intestacy, which allows the surviving spouse to inherit all or most of the deceased spouse’s property if he or she dies intestate (without a will).

    Parties to a prenup can either waive, modify, or place conditions on these rights, or retain some or all of them (e.g., waive estate rights solely with respect to each other’s separate property).

 
 
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FAQS

 

+ How long does the prenup process take?


It depends. In most cases, the prenup process takes two to three months, but this often varies depending on the complexity, the issues to be resolved, and the parties’ and opposing counsel’s responsiveness. If necessary, the process can be completed in a shorter timeline if the wedding is quickly approaching. We recommend that couples begin the process six to eight months before getting married. Similarly, the couple should align on their internal deadline to assist in staying on track.

+ Do both sides need to have counsel in a prenup negotiation?


Though not required in New York, we strongly recommend that both parties be represented by counsel. Representation helps ensure that both parties understand their rights and how they may be modifying those rights under the law. Additionally, if one party is not represented, the prenup may be more susceptible to future legal challenges.

+ Is my lawyer allowed to recommend counsel for my partner?


Absolutely. We recommend attorneys with whom we work frequently who are sophisticated and adept at prenups, approaching the process in the same collaborative manner that we do. We are also frequently recommended by opposing counsel. Further, it does not affect the validity of the agreement if counsel is recommended by the other side, and your partner is free to choose whoever he or she wishes, even if not someone recommended by counsel.

+ Is it okay to pay for my partner’s counsel in a prenup?


Yes. Paying for someone’s counsel is not a basis upon which a prenup can be set aside. Further, paying counsel fees can bolster the collaborative nature of the process: if there is a large wealth disparity between the parties and one side does not want or need a prenup, it can feel unfair for that person to also pay counsel fees.

+ Can we use a mediator for our prenup?


Yes. Although it is not as common to use a mediator for a prenup, if there is not a huge power and financial differential between the parties, mediation can be a more streamlined and cost-effective process. The mediator acts as a neutral who will guide the parties in explaining the law, what can and can’t be done in a prenup, and help the couple determine what is best for them. Our mediators can be found here.

+ Am I required to give financial disclosure as part of the prenup process?


Though not required in New York, full financial disclosure and transparency around both sides’ assets, income, and liabilities is strongly recommended and a pivotal part of negotiation. A lack of financial disclosure may become a factor that somebody could use if they are looking to set aside a prenup, so the “best practice” in prenup negotiations is for both sides to have counsel, to have full and complete financial disclosure, and for the terms not to be one-sided.

+ Are there minimum requirements that must be included in a prenup?


A prenup can be as detailed or as simple as you want it to be. You can enter into a “simple waiver agreement” that defines what is separate property and includes mutual waivers to separate property, leaving everything else open to be determined in the event of divorce. Alternatively, a prenup can be incredibly detailed and bespoke, setting out a framework for exactly what would happen in the event of divorce, including roadmaps for the division of marital homes, business interests, and other assets as well as parameters around maintenance (i.e. alimony or spousal support). We design agreements suited to each couple’s unique concerns and needs.

+ Can a prenup cover custody and child support?


A prenup cannot address issues regarding custody and child support for future, unborn children. These provisions would not be upheld in New York.

+ Does a prenup need to be signed at any particular time before the wedding?


No. Prenups in New York have been upheld even when they’ve been signed on the day of the wedding. However, it is often very stressful for couples to negotiate a prenup in the weeks and days leading to their wedding. For that reason, we recommend they complete it with ample time before the wedding when possible.

+ If I started the prenup process too late, can I do a postnup?


Yes, a postnup, which is an agreement made between a couple once they’re married, covers the same areas as a prenup and is just as enforceable. However, without the deadline of the wedding looming as is the case with a prenup, some couples do not find the same urgency to complete the postnup. Where both parties are motivated, a postnup can certainly be used to cover the same issues.

+ If I’m moving, do I need to update my prenup?


No, the prenup is designed to be effective and enforceable wherever you move, unless you move to a country that does not uphold prenups, which is rare. That being said, if you know you are planning to move to another state or country after the wedding, we will often have counsel in that state or country review the agreement to ensure there are no enforceability issues.

 
 
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Publications

 
 

2024 “Financial Disclosures in Prenups: The Legal, Personal, and Strategic Considerations” by Alyssa Rower | New York Law Journal

2024 “Splitting the (Painting of the) Baby: The Issue of Fine Art in Prenups and Divorces” by Alyssa Rower | New York Law Journal

2024 “Balancing Roots and Rights: Innovating Marital Residence Provisions in Prenuptial Agreements” by Alyssa Rower and Jaime St. Peter | New York Law Journal

2024 “The Art of Drafting Enforceable Prenups” by Alyssa Rower | New York Law Journal

2024 “Put a Ring On It or Ask for It Back? Conditional Gifts in New York State” by Louisa DeRose and Jamie Caponera | New York Law Journal

2024 “Discretionary Trusts Present Vulnerabilities to Beneficiaries Without Prenuptial Agreementsby Dilpreet Rai and Alyssa Rower | New York Law Journal

2023 “Trust Considerations in Prenuptial Agreements by Alyssa Rower and Karina VanHouten | New York Law Journal 

2023 “Dispelling Common Myths About Prenuptial Agreements” by Alyssa Rower | New York Law Journal 

2022 “Choice of Law Provisions in Prenuptial Agreements” by Alyssa Rower, Karina VanHouten and Margaret Sarratt | New York Law Journal 

2022 “Infidelity Clauses: Proceed With Caution” by Alyssa A. Rower, Karina VanHouten and Leo Wiswall | New York Law Journal 

2018 “Have Prenup, Will Travel: Why England’s Law on Marital Agreements Has Attracted Forum Shoppers and How the Courts Can Fight Back” by Karina VanHouten | Brooklyn Journal of International Law

2018 "The Unexpected Upside of Getting a Prenup" by Kara M. Bellew | Psychology Today 

2018 "How to Strengthen Your Marriage with a Prenup"by Alyssa Rower | Insider 

2018 “Those Who Are Most In Need Of A Prenup May Surprise You” by Alyssa Rower | Forbes 

2013 "Ask an Expert: Prenuptial Agreements" by Alyssa Rower | UNtied.net 

 
 
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Videos

 

What is the prenuptial agreement process?
Alyssa Rower explains the importance of prenuptial agreements and the negotiation process. 

Prenuptial Agreements & Trusts
Karina Bellew discusses prenuptial agreements for individuals with trusts.

 

Rower LLC Difficult Conversations Virtual Event
In this virtual panel, Siobhan Stewart, Nicole Hurley, Melinda B. Gould, and Dilpreet Rai discuss how to approach difficult conversations on prenuptial agreements, trusts and estates, and divorce.

Family Law at Art Law Day
featuring Alyssa Rower
Alyssa discusses family law on a panel at Appraiser's Association of America's Art Law Day 2024.

 
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Press

 

Links provided to media available online.

2025 “Navigating prenups: A conversation with Alyssa Rower, founding partner of Rower LLC” by Alison Kelly Hutchinson | BBH Women & Wealth Magazine

2023 “Balancing Act: Alyssa Rower's Journey from Law School to Leading Family Attorney” | Beyond the Bar Podcast

2020 “Raising the Bar” | MNN NYC

2018 "Who gets the dog in the divorce? Enter the pet prenup." | Good Morning America

2018 "Frozen eggs, student loans and other unexpected reasons to get a prenup" | Market Watch

2018 "Prenups, Matrimony Law and Divorce. Oh My!?" | The Big Wedding Planning Podcast

2018 “An Honest Talk About Marriage, Divorce, And Pre-Nups… with Alyssa Rower" | Self Made Man

 

This material is provided for informational purposes and does not constitute legal advice or establish an attorney-client relationship, which may be established only by a writing signed by the lawyer and the client.


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